Devlin Brown at the water cooler: Do what you love and you’ll never train a day in your life

My trainer told me I “need to find my why” just because I said I live a real life and some months I am genuinely too busy or stressed to train. What on earth does she mean?

I love receiving questions on the psychology of training. That’s because I am about as uniquely unqualified to answer questions on psychology as I am to provide political commentary. And so, like a ruling party digging itself deeper into an international relations hole, someone please hand me a shovel and let’s dive right in.

Your story is not unique. “I work an 8-5 job — which never finishes within those hours — I have children, my boss is a narcissist and my clients are as skittish as a cat at a laser pointer convention. There are so many more important things to worry about doing three sets of 10.”

We’ve all been there. Your trainer is telling you to “find your why” so that you have a reason to train when the going gets tough. She’s right. If you understand why you are doing something, and if that “why” is something that matters to you, there’s a far bigger chance you will keep doing it. However, the fitness industry definitely takes this too far. It becomes cringeworthy.

I once read: “Suffering is the crucible in which champions are forged.” Another is: “The only way to achieve the impossible is to brave the unbearable.” Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently once proclaimed: “The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character.”

Those may be true, but I struggle to see how they can be vaguely motivational for someone who just doesn’t feel like training. Posting memes on social media and running around spewing quotes like a zombie won’t change a thing.

Take this advice with a pinch of creatine monohydrate powder because, as mentioned, I am not a psychologist: In my own experience, trying to find elaborate reasons to train will just fall flat. Allow mental resilience and fortitude to be a side-effect of a commitment to training, not the goal. Importantly, relying on purely aesthetic motivation is about as reliable as the traffic lights on the Beyers Naudé off-ramp — some days it will work, but mostly it won’t.

If you’ve ever embarked on a longer-term body recomposition challenge, you will know that there will be times then the gains (or losses) simply stop. It’s a long game. If seeing changes is the motivation that gets you in the gym, soon you’ll feel like you’re wasting your time. Of course, this is related to a cascade of causes: diet changes, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue, exercise intensity and duration, and probably a lot more.

Ironically, it is the people who keep going to the gym when they aren’t seeing the changes that end up succeeding with the most changes in the long term. So what made them train? Obsession? It’s possible. Discipline? Without a doubt. A burning desire for change? One would think so. However, besides all of these I would bet my last R20 they simply enjoy training. They enjoy how training makes them feel.

And that, dear readers, is — in my view at least — the secret sauce. Do what you enjoy, so you can enjoy how it makes you feel. I hired a new staff member last week who is an avid runner. I brought up this column — which, after giggling, she admitted having the misfortune of reading — in conversation.

“I love running, every day and far. But, I’m not into ‘fitness’. I don’t run to try to become lean and ripped,” she said, gesturing with a parodied arm flex. “I run because I love running and I am addicted to the way it makes me feel. It is good for my mind and my body.”

If you’re inclined to give this a go, don’t look too far when searching for your “why”. The way exercise makes you feel, especially during times of excess stress, is a bit like a wonder drug. But you need to be invested in what you’re doing to reap the rewards. A bonus tip: As soon as you walk into the gym, stop looking at your emails and messages.