FIRST DRIVE: Ineos Quartermaster is a hardy tank

The word “epic” is probably used more liberally than it should be in our world of hashtagged superlatives. But in the story of the Ineos Grenadier, it fits brilliantly.

How else would you describe a tale involving a billionaire entrepreneur who, after deciding the reborn Land Rover Defender was too “namby-pamby”, decides to go and build his own do-it-all off-roader?

And not some half-baked, backyard concoction either, but a fully-fledged, thoroughly pedigreed warrior made from top-shelf ingredients, built to crush all manner of terrains.

Indeed, Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s automotive company had tongues wagging when the initial concepts were announced. Even the Ineos tagline could be inferred as fighting words. Built on purpose. Simple as that. 

Not for superficial vibes, not for likes, not for the affections of everyone, the Grenadier is a specialised instrument for a discerning sort of explorer. 

Now that the Grenadier in station wagon form has earned some market acceptance, the local range expands with a new double-cab derivative dubbed Quartermaster. It debuted towards the end of 2023 and we drove the model on local soil in July.

Clambering up and into the Grenadier, the sheer number of buttons can be overwhelming to those accustomed to sparse capacitive surfaces and gratuitous screens. It is a wonderfully tactile environment. With some cute touches to break the seriousness of things. Like a red “Toot” button on the steering wheel, producing a friendlier horn sound you might use to greet a cyclist. No coincidence around the bicycle emoji on the button — a nod to the successful Grenadier cycling team.

Our route took us through the Eastern Cape, from Gqeberha into the Baviaanskloof Nature Reserve, a place where mainstream compact crossovers and sport-utility vehicles break into tears at the main entrance.  No four-wheel drive or ground clearance in excess of 190mm? Rather stay on tar, ol’ chap.

Technically, the differences between the station wagon and the double-cab are minor — save for the obvious loading bed, which adds 305mm additional length. It can haul a 760kg payload, while the 3,500kg towing capacity remains unaffected.

Measuring 1,564mm long and 1,619mm wide, the sizable bin is said to be able to carry a standard Euro pallet (1,200mm x 800mm) so you could use it as a proper commercial workhorse on occasion if needs be. The tailgate, when opened, supports 225kg. No hassle serving as a pew for family sunset viewings then.

Ground clearance is a towering 264mm, with an 800mm wading depth. And wade we did. Step one, find a body of water. Step two, engage dedicated fording mode on the overhead panel, with its distinct aviation flavour. You might want to do it while listening to Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone for maximum effect.

Breaking a path through a frigid river, our fleet of Quartermasters resembled lurking hippos, water at door height with just the headlights and “foreheads” of the vehicles visible.

It has an unburstable feel over punishing terrain, with its five-link front and rear suspension setup supported by solid beam axles. No complicated pneumatics to go wrong — but it should also be said that the ride quality is better resolved than one expects. Those lateral jiggles usually associated with hardcore ladder frames appeared to be contained. The damping and rebound characteristics were also not as jarring as anticipated, on the treacherous routes we tested the vehicle.

It has a standard centre differential lock, while additional locking differentials can be optioned for the front and rear axles. A two-speed transfer case is standard. Brakes were developed by specialists Brembo.

The steering system is of a recirculating ball variety, perfectly fine for the nuances of driving off-road, but shows its compromises on asphalt, where it feels as agreeable as a vegan at a lamb spit-roast. You are constantly tussling with the tiller, sawing at it to maintain a steady path.

While we are talking criticisms, the front footwells of the Quartermaster are ridiculously narrow and those Recaro seats are not ideal for wide berths.

Then there was the whiny power steering pump, which I could still hear ringing in my head, sitting in our Johannesburg office after returning from the event. According to one of the technicians present, this was not the cause of a defect, but simply a characteristic operating sound. A campaign will see quieter units fitted — and some of the vehicles in our launch fleet had already received this remedy, being noticeably quieter.

On the subject of acoustics, it was easy to take delight in the soundtrack of the BMW-sourced, six-cylinder petrol under hood. The 3.0l gives a bellow on start-up that sounds exactly like an M340i. Even the customary chortles and pops have not been muted for the application.

Its 210kW/450Nm output makes for an impression of stout acceleration, while the eight-speed, ZF automatic is just about flawless in the way it slices between ratios. Average consumption readout indicated 14l/100km. Not terrible, given the weight and aerodynamic properties of the vehicle.

But perhaps most buyers would see greater sense in the diesel option, also derived from BMW, with the same displacement and number of cylinders, serving up 183kW/550Nm.

The Quartermaster is sold in three trims, ranging from the spartan base version, to the Trialmaster and Fieldmaster editions, offering slightly swankier trappings. Pricing kicks off at R1,717,100. Warranty is of a five-year/100,000km duration and the maintenance plan is a five-year/75,000km offering.

You simply cannot look at the Quartermaster through the same lenses you would view any of the typical double-cabs in the top 10-monthly sales charts. Its closest rival would be the Jeep Gladiator. But even that comes across like a slender mountain goat in comparison to the hardy tank that is the Ineos.  

For those with deep pockets, a penchant for the outdoors and more imagination than types who flock to the typical off-roader stalwarts, the Quartermaster is a compelling prospect.