Changing a light bulb, lending a hand with car and home repairs, doing heavy lifting and giving free self-defence classes. This is how some men are responding to SA’s gender-based violence crisis: with practical and positive action.
In Centurion, Francois van Wyk decided last week that after the national outrage over gender-based violence he needed to do more than pay lip service to supporting women, and formed the Centurion Gentleman’s Club.
It is a platform for men to volunteer their time and skills to help women, particularly single mothers, “with anything possible in and around the house, or car, or wherever they need practical assistance”.
The name of the club may have raised eyebrows, but people have grasped the concept and embraced the volunteer services being offered Women can ask for assistance via the club’s Facebook platform or, in an emergency, contact the WhatsApp group.
Spokesperson Gerrie Schoeman, a volunteer and maths tutor, said that while the club was “very new” the response by men and women has been “phenomenal”.
“Francois wanted men to step up, and they have. Women ask for help, and we have a group of men who have been doing everything from changing light bulbs and fixing broken car tail lights to carrying heavy items.”
Schoeman said women had been asked to use the communication channels of the local community policing forums to safeguard themselves.
“We cannot guarantee that there [won’t] be a rapist among the volunteers. There is nothing stopping a bad apple from joining our club. We do our best to evaluate the men who want to help, but there are no guarantees. That’s why we have safety measures in place.
“The safety aspect is very important to us. That’s why the requests are handled by myself and Francois. We then source the men who can assist. We advise the ladies that if a gentleman comes to her, to never be alone,” said Schoeman.
One woman wrote on the Facebook page: “Bless you guys! This is what is needed to make a difference. You have managed to give me hope and faith that there is a way forward, and to once again realise there are such a lot of good men in this country.”
Schoeman said the club was by no means sexist, but only existed to help women.
In Cape Town, a few eating spots have adopted the #comein policy, which has seen them open their doors to women feeling unsafe.
The Raptor Room triggered the #comein policy by posting on social media: “If you are ever walking in the street close to us and you feel unsafe, just come inside. You don’t need to buy anything. If you are here and you need to walk to your car alone, ask us to walk with you to make sure you are safe. If you are ever in our space and you don’t feel safe, please tell us. We are tired, but we are strong. And we will fight.”
Also in Cape Town, martial arts enthusiast Kyle Pretorius has been offering women free self-defence lessons. It is his way of helping women take charge of their safety.
Johannesburg entrepreneur Mike Stopforth hosted a talk shop in Sandton on Wednesday. He invited both men and women to be part of an initiative to tackle gender-based violence.
“Women have a basic human right to be and feel safe. But it is not safe to be a woman in SA, let alone feel safe. We are responsible. We are the problem. And we need to be part of the solution,” he said.
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