Type “where can I buy an Iceland …” into a Google search and before you are done it will finish your sentence in an annoying and spooky predictive “Big Brother” way with suggestions such as “sheepdog”, “orangutan” and “football shirt”.
What to do? Well, fly past the sheepdog, make a note of the football jersey of the team that drew with Argentina at last year’s World Cup and take some time to remember the banned Greenpeace advert by the Iceland supermarket group that featured an orangutan and the destruction of the rain forest before finishing your sentence “cricket jersey”.
You will be pointed to a dead end. No one seems to know where to buy an Iceland cricket shirt. This is sad, for indeed the must-have sports kit this year will be that of the national cricket team of Iceland, and I must have it.
It’s a symbol of the impossible dream being chased. It’s about having the jersey of a cricketing nation that has just 35 players, no actual cricket ground and a Twitter feed that uses the words “buggered” and “horse c*cks” to describe one of their domestic matches.
“Oops! After such a strong start to the series, Reykjavik well and truly buggered it up in game two. Rocketing along at eight and over only works if you last more than 10 overs, guys. What a bunch of horse c*cks,” the tweet read.
There cannot be many international cricket associations, albeit one that is not yet a member of the ICC, that sledge their own teams with such wonder.
The Reddit cricket forum, which has 70,000 users, has become a sponsor of the Krikketsamband Islands — the Iceland Cricket Board — for the next two years.
Just two teams play in Iceland’s domestic competition, the Volcanic Ashes, which until 2019 was known as the, er, Domestic Cup. It is a five-match series between the Reykjavík Vikings and Kópavogur Puffins.
According to their official site, krikket.is, “all Icelandregistered players are entered into a player draft and allocated to one of the two teams”.
They had their inaugural IPL tournament last year, which featured five franchises and, presumably because there aren’t enough players, was a six-a-side competition modelled on the Hong Kong sixes. They are crowdfunding to build Iceland’s national cricket ground and need £1,500.
SA played an important part in the origins of Iceland cricket, according to the board’s official history: “Modern Icelandic cricket was founded by Ragnar Kristinsson, who in 1999 watched the famous World Cup semifinal between Australia and SA while on holiday in Cyprus.
“He was entranced. He went to Lord’s for the final and became hooked. He wrote to the European Cricket Council, who sent a starter set of equipment to Iceland.”
The first Iceland team to be formed played in 2000 “against a visiting team formed by Manchester barrister Jonathan Rule for his stag weekend”. Iceland won.
Cricket, according to the Krikketsamband Islands, was “invented by the Vikings” in the year 911. Two teams were formed to play “games” next to the Hvítá river. A hero called Egill “lost his temper, wielded the bat and struck Grímur, who seized him and dashed him to the ground roughly, warning that he would suffer for it if he did not learn how to behave”. Egill returned to the field of play with an axe, and drove it into Grímur’s head, “right through to the brain”. A battle ensued between the teams’ supporters, in which seven men were killed.
“That is not exactly how domestic Icelandic cricket is played today.”
It has, instead, a South African ex-pat, one Keenan Botha, who is “fasttalking and big-hitting”. His cricket hero is Jacques Kallis, who is a Viking god of a player.
Invite him to Iceland. He just got married. He will bring the missus and a few bats, and maybe have a few beers. And perhaps he can bring me back an Iceland cricket shirt, which is now being worn around the world, on every continent. Someone in Africa has beaten me to it, according to @IcelandCricket: “You. The people of the world. Our fans. We love you and thank you all. There are now Iceland jerseys on every continent.”
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