We always hope there will be days like these. Days when the anticipation of a match that has been months, nay, years in the making is so close to overwhelming that the starting whistle may almost come too soon and, then, sadly, be a bit of a let-down.
Days when selections are hinted at, squinted at and over-printed. Days when the splinters of the bench are a place of honour and fear, and not “bad luck, old chap”. Days when the unexpected becomes the expected and the hype reverts to type. Days when the clock ticks so slowly you end up counting the minutes and seconds it takes for your kettle to boil at sea level.
These, my friends of the rugby universe, are the days of storms and teacups, of guesses and guarantees, of huffing and puffing, and, the best part of it all, of the waiting.
There are, at the time of writing, just a few days until the most-hyped, defining clash of the Rugby World Cup thus far will take place. The Springboks against Ireland. Number two against number one in the world, for all the good that those rankings have done them in the pool draw, which was seemingly held in a darkened room, and for the little good it will do them when they meet on Saturday night. Rugby rankings are the imaginations of administrators, mathematical fictions that give World Rugby the ability to fill the empty space between World Cups.
The hype has been extraordinary in the SA press, the angles stretched taut, divided into separate pieces and then stretched again. Wait? They said that? I can say it better and longer. Once more with feeling, then, off you go. I have read more about the seven-one split on the bench than I ever thought I would need to.
Perhaps the most illuminating of those analyses came from the sport department of News24, who led their site on Thursday morning with the headline: “‘Strap on, because we’re coming!’ Former Boks back Rassie’s 7/1 bench split as Ireland awaits.”
Strap one on indeed, said Schalk Brits to the journalist about the bench: “Strap on, because we’re coming. That’s what they’re saying,” said Brits. “We’re going to bring the physicality; can you live with it? That’s what they’re effectively saying. If you don’t, you’re going to get pumped. They want to dominate the set piece. It’s as simple as that. It was the same against New Zealand and if you don’t get set-piece dominance, it’s going to become an arm-wrestle, but one with two hands.”
Strap on, coming, physical, dominatrix, two hands and pumped in one quote. I’ve interviewed Brits down the years. There is a suspicion he was well aware of the sexual innuendo. In fact, I’m sure he was, despite Kobus Wiese telling me Brits was a hooker and they are “different”. Wait... Brits was a “hooker”...
There are many things that are different about this Springbok team, no less than the fact that Rassie Erasmus gets more quotes and credit than Jacques Nienaber. The two are joined at the hip, the soul and the mind when it comes to rugby. They speak with one voice, one vision and have one quite incredible ability to make the impossible seem possible.
The outrageous is a challenge to them, the silly is a why-the-hell-not item on their agenda. Seven-one? Haha! They will never do it again! What foolishness is this? What daftness, what weirdness, wha... well, I never. It worked. Will it work again? Will they attempt to repeat the surprise? But... haha... what if the surprise is that it isn’t a surprise? Good god, let me sit down for a spell.
That is both the madness and the genius in the thinking of Nienaber and Erasmus, and, also, let us not forget, the utter trust their bosses have given them to plan, build, tinker, test, experiment and surprise with their biggest money-making asset. Their seven-one bench shows a diamond-clear, open chain of thought ... on the face of it. Here’s our plan, they are telling Ireland — deal with it the best way you can.
Will Ireland counter, twist and turn or stay true to their way? Come Saturday night, we will know who has had to strap in and who has strapped on.
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