Football. It can turn you inside out, upside down and back to front, change sweetness into bitterness, cheers to howls and joy to anger. One volley, one admittedly glorious volley, from the Everton captain and Goodison Park became Badison Park for Liverpool fans on Wednesday night.
James Tarkowski, captain of Everton signed as a free agent after his contract with Burnley ran its course in 2022, melted Alisson Becker’s net with a wallop of a shot, all muscle and timing, a furious goal that encapsulated the wildness of this 245th Merseyside derby, the last to be played at Goodison. Everton are off to their new ground at the Bramley-Moore Dock, which will be called the Everton Stadium, a functional if soulless name.
After Tarkowski’s equaliser it all kicked off. Curtis Jones foolishly shoved Everton midfielder Abdoulaye Doucouré who was, even more foolishly, goading the Liverpool fans in the away end with his celebrations. A brawl of sorts ensued, more handbags than a brawl, actually. Red cards followed, four of them, the same number of goals scored. Arne Slot, the Liverpool manager, shook referee Michael Oliver’s hand a little too roughly, a bit like Donald Trump used to do, and got sent off. Earlier in the season Slot was carded for saying “f*cking joke”. He probably used the same words.
A brawl of sorts ensued, more handbags than a brawl, actually. Red cards followed, four of them, the same number of goals scored.
He was banned from giving the postmatch press conference, rules introduced by the Premier League to ensure managers and coaches cool off after being sent off. A pity, it would have made grand listening. Virgil van Dijk did not hold back.
“It was a very big provocation from one certain player,” said Van Dijk. “We all saw it and reacted as a team as we were able to do. You know what happens nowadays, it becomes one big tussle. Then it is not me who has to deal with it, it is the referee and today I am not sure he had it fully under control. To concede an equaliser that late is always disappointing.
“We saw the celebrations they had in the end, so we know how much it meant for them, but the fact is it was disappointing for us. We kept fighting but in the end it wasn’t enough to get it over the line.”
There was that. This was a final for Everton in testing times. Their manager, David Moyes, who now carries the moniker “Mystic” for his revival of a team that was headed towards the Championship, described the match as “mayhem”. It was a wonderful way for Everton to finish their history at this stadium against Liverpool.
“It is hugely important that Evertonians get to finish at their stadium in the best way they can. The support in here was unbelievable tonight, incredible, and it is fitting they got an end like they did. We didn’t win, which was the disappointing thing. It would have been hard to come here losing 2-1 and talking about it. Everyone stayed until the end, which was a magical moment. The bit of to-ing and fro-ing at the end probably added to the entertainment of the night.”
Bonnie Blue
Breaking news this week revealed that Everton’s sponsors, Stake.com, the online casino, will have to “give up its licence to operate in Britain, amid a regulatory review of the company’s practices, including a promotion fronted by a porn actor”, reported the Guardian.
Stick with me, this gets better. “The Gambling Commission began an investigation in response to the appearance on the social media platform X of a video featuring the adult star Bonnie Blue, featuring Stake’s branding. In the video, Bonnie Blue boasted of a stunt in which she tried to have sex with ‘barely legal 18-year-olds’ in their first year at Nottingham Trent University.”
A porn star called Bonnie Blue as the face of a sponsor of a team that wears blue. The 25-year-old’s claim to fame is that she recently “attempted to break the ‘world record’ for having the most amount of sex in 12 hours”. She managed 1,057 men in 12 hours, but then OnlyFan banned her video.”
Social media, according to the New York Post, “roasted” Bonnie Blue. “‘Imagine doing all that work for nothing,’ one wrote on Facebook. ‘What an anticlimax,’ scoffed someone else.”
The last derby at Goodison was anything but an anticlimax.
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