Just when we thought the pearl-clutching and mudslinging between the ANC and DA over the proposed national dialogue couldn’t get sillier, Thabo Mbeki has tugged on his special dressing gown, pulled his keyboard closer and reminded us why he remains one of the doyens of SA hypocrisy.
It was always going to be difficult to trump the spectacle of two members of the same government refusing to talk to each other about whether they’re going to talk to each other, but Mbeki is no ordinary man, a fact he proved yet again on Friday as he published an open letter to John Steenhuisen, ticking off the DA for wanting to eat its government of national unity (GNU) cake while not having its national dialogue.
It started well enough, explaining to “Honourable Steenhuisen” (miaow!) that the dialogue was vital as a way for the country to “respond to the enormous challenges created by the counterrevolution”. I thought that was a pretty weird thing for Mbeki to call the ANC of the last 20 years, but he’s the intellectual, so perhaps he’s right.
Likewise, when Mbeki rejected the DA’s claim that the national dialogue would essentially be nothing but ANC electioneering, and instead explained that it “will be a true ‘Parliament of the People’, controlled by the people themselves”, I was willing to take his word for it.
After all, just because I missed the nationwide campaign where the GNU asked the people if we wanted a national dialogue, and then I missed the referendum where we agreed to pay over R700m for it, doesn’t mean those things didn’t happen. I only read the news a couple of times a day and things do slip past.
Yes, it all seemed pretty impressive, and as he built up a head of rhetorical steam to finish big, he reminded us that our democracy and sovereignty only exist through we, the people: “The ancients,” he wrote, “were not mistaken when they said: ‘Vox Populi, vox Dei!’” The voice of the people is the voice of God.
Lobbing in some Latin was a power move by our former philosopher-king: everyone knows Latin makes you look up to three times brainier than you really are. But while the voice of the people is important, and the voice of God is probably useful too, sometimes what you need most is the voice of Google.
Indeed, the shortest search would have revealed to Mbeki that it wasn’t the ancients who coined that phrase but rather a medieval cleric named Alcuin of York, and the full quote goes like this:
“The people are to be led, not followed. Nor are those to be listened to who are accustomed to say ‘The voice of the people is the voice of God’ since the riotousness of the crowd is always very close to madness.”
You know, like when Zimbabweans vote for the wrong party and you have to lead them back to the right one by declaring a rigged election free and fair.
Then again, perhaps I’m being unkind. Mbeki isn’t the only politician in the world who has to keep singing the praises of democracy while praying that the true will of the people never gets an opportunity to express itself, or at least not until the helicopter on the roof has been fuelled up.
Still, if this is what the national dialogue is going to sound like, I can understand why, if anyone from the government ever bothers to ask us if we want it, some of us might politely shut our front doors and tell the counterrevolution thanks, but no thanks.
• Eaton is an Arena Holdings columnist.
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