KEVIN MCCALLUM | Follow the money as Infantino fights to save his Fifa presidency

In Terry Pratchett’s 1995 novel Maskerade, Granny Esme Weatherwax believes her fellow witch Nanny Gytha Ogg has been done out of money by the publishers of her risqué cookbook, The Joye of Snackes.

Granny crunches some numbers and comes up with a final total showing that Nanny, who was paid $3, is owed $4,000 to $5,000.

“You have never been very good at numbers,” she tells Nanny, who replies cheerily, “Oh, you know me, Esme; I couldn’t subtract a fart from a plate of beans.”

Maskerade, a parody of Phantom of the Opera, bursts at the covers with laugh-out-loud lines. A quick storyline of the book: Granny and Nanny travel to the big city to get the money from the publisher who owes Nanny, go to see a friend, Agnes Nitt, sing at the opera and then uncover nefarious happenings.

Some of the lines of Maskerade echo the goings-on at Fifa. The plans to pawn the World Cup were done under the cover of night, and when they were dragged into the light, Fifa president Gianni Infantino tried to bully and bribe them into being. It hasn’t worked, and now Infantino is working the phones hard and dangling financial strings to save his presidency. None of this is new. We have been here before, and we will be here again.

In May 2015, Luis Figo, the Portuguese legend, withdrew from the presidential race against Sepp Blatter, saying it “should shame anyone who desires soccer to be free, clean and democratic. I have seen with my own eyes federation presidents who, after one day comparing Fifa leaders to the devil, then go on stage and compare those same people to Jesus Christ. Nobody told me about this. I saw it with my own eyes.”

As the head of the opera told Agnes Nitt, “You mean you just see things that are really there? I can see you haven’t been with the opera for long, dear.”

After Blatter was elected, Figo spoke out: “If Mr Blatter were minimally concerned about football, he would have given up the re-election. If he has a minimum of decency, he will resign in the next few days.”

Last week in the Daily Mail, Figo described Infantino’s attempt to sell off a chunk of the World Cup as the “the lowest, most deceitful and cravenly self-interested behaviour I have ever witnessed…. He has lied, deceived and tried to feather his own nest at the expense of the game he is supposed to serve…. It is too late to save his dignity, but it is not too late to save football. He should go. Now.”

In his 2015 election campaign Figo said he did not believe all of Fifa’s African members supported Blatter. He got that wrong. They did then just as they now back Infantino.

Last week Lux September, head of communications at CAF, responded to a Facebook post in which I said CAF is the Oliver Twist of world football, always asking for more. He wrote, “I think the choices of Africa are more complex than that.” This week he said CAF’s approach to the controversies at Fifa was, “CAF will always look at what is in the best interest of African football. We will not allow Africa to be dragged into positions that do not serve our interests.”

A clearer definition of those interests is needed, but here’s a hint. CAF has improved financially as a body and in October announced a net profit of $9.48m for the 2023-24 financial year. In July CAF asked its members to review Infantino’s World Cup sell-off. Under it, each would receive a one-off payment of $20m and an increase in funding for the 2027-2030 cycle from $8m to $20m.

In Maskerade, Nanny Ogg unpacked her lunch in the coach on the way to the big city: “Let’s see what else we’ve got … ah, has anybody got an opener for a bottle of beer?” A man in the corner indicated that he might have such a thing. “Fine,” said Nanny Ogg. “Anyone got something to drink a bottle of beer out of?” Another man nodded hopefully. “Good,” said Nanny Ogg. “Now, has anyone got a bottle of beer?”

What will be served with lunch as the battle at Fifa rumbles on? Some members will expect a beer; some will bring their own. Is Infantino done? Follow the money. Let’s see if football can subtract a fart from a plate of beans.